Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Protect Your Child From the Choking Game

Q: I just read about the Choking Game, and I’m wondering if my 14 year old son, who has ADHD, is more likely to play this game. What should I do to prevent this?

You are right to be concerned about your son. He is right in the target age of children who play the Choking Game which is early adolescence, 11-15. Although there are no studies to suggest that ADHD kids are more likely to play this game, it is common for ADHD kids to have poor judgment and to be more influenced by peers who are engaging in this potentially harmful activity. All kinds of kids play the Choking Game, but ADHD kids may be more at risk.

Of course the Choking Game is not really a game at all. Also called Roulette, Rising Sun, Space Monkey, the Tingling Game, and the Pass Out Game, young teens try this activity to get a high by cutting off oxygen to the brain, and then experiencing a rush as the blood begins to flow again. Teens may literally choke each other with their hands, push each other’s chests to expel air and hyperventilate , or use a belt or a rope to restrict their airways.

The Choking Game is most often played in groups, but it is most dangerous when kids try to play when they are alone, often tying a rope to a bed post or closet rod, and unintentionally strangling themselves. It only takes 3 or 4 minutes of oxygen deprivation to start killing brain cells, and death occurs in as little as four or five minutes.

There are some obvious signs that kids are playing the Choking Game, including red marks around the neck, bloodshot eyes, frequent headaches, and belts or ropes tied to a bedpost or closet rod. But most kids are good at hiding secrets from their parents, so don’t think that a lack of obvious signs means that your child is not in danger.

Ironically, many teens think that the Choking Game is a “natural” high, safer than drugs or alcohol. But in reality, it can be even more dangerous. An estimated 250 to 1,000 children die each year from playing the Choking Game, but many more children get concussions from falling down or have seizures when their brains have been deprived of oxygen.

So what can you do to prevent your child from experimenting with the Choking Game?
There are four simple steps:

1. Eat dinner with your children. Statistics tell us that teens who eat dinner with families at least three times a week, are much less likely to engage in all kind of high risk behaviors.

2. Talk to your child about the Choking Game. Don’t be an inquisitor, but rather begin the conversation saying something like: “I just heard about the Choking Game on TV. It sounds like a lot of kids do this. Have you heard about any kids trying it?” Whatever your child’s answers, calmly explain how serious this activity can be, and how you hope that your child will never take this kind of foolish risk.

3. Teach kids how to be assertive if they are pressured into playing the Choking Game or any dangerous activity. Ask your child if she has ever been pressured to do something she didn’t want to do, and then role-play how she would respond. Also teach your child to be assertive in telling other kids not to engage in this dangerous activity and talking to an adult if they are concerned about a friend or even an acquaintance.

4. Make sure that your school has a prevention program which includes teaching kids about the Choking Game. School prevention programs work! Make sure that your school has a trained teacher or counselor regularly talking to kids about all the problems that affect kids and teens.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

How to Recognize Computer Addiction & What To Do

According to the Media Research Lab at Iowa State University, about 8.5 percent of 8-to-18-year-old children can be considered addicted to video games. And nearly 1 in 4 children, (more boys than girls) admit they've felt like their video game playing was out of control.

Is your child or a child you know spending too much playing video games? Check off any of the statements below that pertain to your child.
1. Most of the child's "free time" is spent on the computer or playing video games.
2. The child is always tired, sometimes falling asleep in school.
3. The child is not keeping up with homework assignments and projects.
4. The child has worsening grades.
5. The child is lying about computer or video game use so privileges aren't taken away.
6. The child is choosing the computer or playing video games rather than spending time with friends or family.
7. The child is dropping out of activities such as social groups, clubs or sports.
8. The child is irritable, cranky or agitated, when not playing a video game or on the computer.

If you check even one of these statements, your child is spending too time playing video games, and you need to do something right away.

Here are some things you can do:
1. Talk to your child about the affects of playing too many video games, including: irritability and mood changes, weight gain, and loss of friends.
2. Decide on a reasonable amount of time he or she can play (most experts feel that children should not be in front of a "screen" (including TVs, computers, and video games) for more than 1.5 hours a day. Software is available to help you limit time on the computer.
3. Provide many alternative activities, preferably ones that involve active play and exercise.
4. Avoid leaving the child alone for long periods of time in his room or other unsupervised places. 5. Reward activities like reading, spending time in the library, or community service with lots of praise and attention.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Is your child popular? Do you want him to be?

Parents often assign a negative connotation to the concept of popularity. After all, popular culture often portrays “popular kids” as vacuous jocks and cheerleaders, without much character or moral fiber. But our psychological definition of popularity is both simple and straightforward, and makes it clear that all parents should want their children to be popular. Popular children are liked by many and disliked by few. You do not need to be the captain of the football team or the class president to be popular. You don’t need to be the handsomest or the prettiest among your peers. You must only be well liked.

Do know if your child is well-liked? I usually assume that the more time children spend with their peers and the more varied their activities, the more popular they are. Check off the following statements if they apply to your child, age six or older. The more statements checked the better.

___My child talks to other children on the phone usually on a daily basis.
___My child spends time every weekend with other children of the same age.
___My child talks about his or her “best friend.”
___My child belongs to a sports team, or participates in other sports activities at least once a week.
___My child belongs to nonathletic groups of children outside of school (Cub Scouts, church youth groups, special interest clubs, etc.).
___My child is regularly invited to parties and other social functions.
___My child corresponds with others using email or letters.
___My child (eight or older) is frequently invited to go over the house of other children for extended periods of time (four hours or more).
___My child (eight or older) sometimes sleeps over at another child’s house or has a child sleep over at our home.
___My child (eight and older) spends time in academically oriented activities with other children, such as science projects, study groups, or helping each other with homework.

Each one of the statements in the checklist refers to an important milestone in a child’s social development. If your youngster has not achieved these social milestones, there are many simple things that you can do to help her become more socially adept. Look for these ideas in my daily parenting tips.