Is your child popular? Do you want him to be?

Parents often assign a negative connotation to the concept of popularity. After all, popular culture often portrays “popular kids” as vacuous jocks and cheerleaders, without much character or moral fiber. But our psychological definition of popularity is both simple and straightforward, and makes it clear that all parents should want their children to be popular. Popular children are liked by many and disliked by few. You do not need to be the captain of the football team or the class president to be popular. You don’t need to be the handsomest or the prettiest among your peers. You must only be well liked.

Do know if your child is well-liked? I usually assume that the more time children spend with their peers and the more varied their activities, the more popular they are. Check off the following statements if they apply to your child, age six or older. The more statements checked the better.

___My child talks to other children on the phone usually on a daily basis.
___My child spends time every weekend with other children of the same age.
___My child talks about his or her “best friend.”
___My child belongs to a sports team, or participates in other sports activities at least once a week.
___My child belongs to nonathletic groups of children outside of school (Cub Scouts, church youth groups, special interest clubs, etc.).
___My child is regularly invited to parties and other social functions.
___My child corresponds with others using email or letters.
___My child (eight or older) is frequently invited to go over the house of other children for extended periods of time (four hours or more).
___My child (eight or older) sometimes sleeps over at another child’s house or has a child sleep over at our home.
___My child (eight and older) spends time in academically oriented activities with other children, such as science projects, study groups, or helping each other with homework.

Each one of the statements in the checklist refers to an important milestone in a child’s social development. If your youngster has not achieved these social milestones, there are many simple things that you can do to help her become more socially adept. Look for these ideas in my daily parenting tips.