Helping Homeless Children

A recent article on “tent-cities” for the homeless sprouting up across the nation made me think about how we can help homeless children in America. According to a new report issued by the National Center on Family Homelessness, one out of every 50 American children experiences homelessness in their lifetime and according to data analyzed from 2005 and 2006, 1.5 million children experience being homeless in America each year. We can only assume with the current recession that this statistic is significantly higher and growing in 2009.

The report also looked at how individual states deal with this problem, ranking performance in four areas: child homelessness per capita, child well-being, risk for child homelessness, and state policy and planning. The top five states were Connecticut, New Hampshire, Hawaii, Rhode Island and North Dakota. At the bottom were Texas, Georgia, Arkansas, New Mexico and Louisiana.

According to the report, most states have inadequate plans to address this worsening and often-overlooked problem. One can only imagine the suffering that a child experiences after having to leave his home, and then live in a homeless shelter or even on the street. The report said homeless children are far more likely than other children to experience hunger, suffer chronic health problems, repeat a grade in school and drop out of high school. As President Obama said in his press conference earlier in the week, the wealthiest nation on earth cannot tolerate having children living without homes.

The report offered 19 recommendations for government action, including beefed-up federal spending on low-income housing, assistance to struggling renters and homeowners, and investment in childcare for homeless children. It urged states to place homeless families directly into permanent housing rather than into motels. It recommended that we set the goal of ending homelessness for all U.S. children within a decade.

In the meantime, those of us who are educators and counselors need to think about how we can help homeless children today. The only way I know is by helping children develop their resiliency (emotional intelligence) skills, which is why I wrote the book When Can We Go Home? The free e-book contains 13 activities that help children deal with the loss of their home, feeling safe no matter where they are, meeting new people, self-calming tips, problem-solving ideas, and remaining positive about themselves and their families. Please click the book cover on the right to download it to your computer. You are welcome to print out as many copies as you like.

What Can Kids Do For Homeless Kids?
Over the years I have recommended many websites that encourage helping and caring in children. One of my favorites, kidscare.org, promotes Kids Care Clubs. Kids Care Clubs are groups of young people who work together to help others in their communities and around the world. Below are some ideas on how kids can help homeless kids.
· Collect canned food for shelters.
· Clean a closet and give old clothes, toys, and games in good-condition to shelters.
· Raise money or give part of your allowance to a shelter.
· Teens can volunteer directly at a shelter. They can babysit, read stories, provide homework help or just play with the kids. Being homeless is one of the worst things that can happen to a child. If you can think of ways to help these children, I hope that you will.

Free Download: Understanding How Emotions Affect Your Body

Every week in my newsletter, EQ Kids, I offer a free activity you can download which can help you teach children emotional, social, and behavioral skills that can last a lifetime. Increasing a child’s emotional intelligence will make him happier, healthier, and more successful in everything he does. Studies also suggest that teaching kids EQ skills will make them more resilient, and better able to cope with both common and uncommon emotional problems.
This week’s download is an activity which teaches children how emotions can affect their bodies, and how learning to relax can help calm stress, anger, and anxiety.

Click the image of the couch to your right to download the image. You can also sign up for my weekly newsletter by clicking the link to your right.

Do Kids Outgrow ADHD?

Q: My 8-year just went on medication for ADHD. My pediatrician says that this will help him in school, and that he may outgrow the problem in a few years. Is this true? Do kids really outgrow ADHD and if so, when?

A: Your pediatrician is correct, about 75% of children outgrow their ADHD symptoms by early adulthood. A study by scientists at the National Institute of Mental Health and McGill University compared brain scans from two groups of children, one with attention deficit disorder and one without (reported in the NY Times http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/13/health/13kids.html?_r=1&hp&oref=slogin). In the group of children with ADHD, the pruning process of the cerebral cortex, sometimes called the thinking part of the brain, began about 3 years later than kids without ADHD. The greatest delays in brain maturation were found in those areas most involved with attention and motor delay. The authors of the study concluded that most children with ADHD develop normally, just more slowly in some areas of the brain. Of course statistical studies do not necessarily apply to individual children. While this study suggests that your child is likely to grow out of his ADHD by the time he is in college, there is still a 25% chance that this won't happen. Six month follow-ups with your pediatrician are recommended to evaluate his medication protocol, and at least an annual review of his school performance. Most physicians also recommend "medication vacations" so that a child's behavior can be evaluated without the influence of drugs.

When Do Teens Start To Have Sex?

Q: My 15-year old daughter is very mature, and has started dating older boys. I’ve talked to her about sex, and told her that I want her to wait until she is older to have intercourse. She asked me “how much older,” and I didn’t really have a good answer. How old do you think a teen should be before having sex?

A: The age that teens have sexual intercourse varies according to cultural standards, and of course in many religious countries, sex outside of marriage is strictly forbidden. We do have some ideas about norms for the U.S., thanks to a review of the research done by the Kaiser Family Foundation in January 2005. According to this report, there has been a decline in the number of high school students (9th to 12th grade) who reported having sexual intercourse, from 53% in 1993 to 47% in 2003. The percentage of high school students predictably increases with each grade from 33% in 9th grade to 62% in the 12th grade. The median age for first sexual intercourse is 16.9 years for boys and 17.4 years for girls. Education about safe sex seems to be working. According to this report, 98% of teens reported that they had used birth control, although not all of the time. Nearly 17% of sexually active females and 9% of sexually active males said that they did not use contraception the last time they had sex. Having sex at an older age, and an increase in birth control has reduced the rate of teen pregnancies, but the rate of sexually transmitted diseases remains high. One in four sexually active teens contracts an STD every year. You can read the report for yourself at: http://www.kff.org/youthhivstds/upload/U-S-Teen-Sexual-Activity-Fact-Sheet.pdf

If you want your teen to be abstinent, or at least wait until he or she is out of high school to have intercourse, there are some things you can do:
1. Discourage drugs and alcohol. Over ½ of teenage girls say they might participate in sexual activities they really did not want to when drinking or using drugs.
2. Have frequent family meals. Many studies correlate the number of family meals with a decrease in the use of drugs and other risky behaviors.
3. Teach your children values from an early age. Values are learned from early in childhood, and remember that children pay more attention to what you do than what you say.
4. Teach your children and teens about the influence of the media and social networking sites. Teens are barraged with overt and subtle messages that promote early sexuality, particularly on sites like MySpace and Facebook.
5. Set limits from an early age. Teens complain about limits, such as early curfews, but studies suggest that this is an important factor in teaching responsibility. Teens who have had clear limits set since childhood will be less likely to rebel as they get older.

Pictures Can Help Fight Stress For The Whole Family

In spite of our love affair with technology and electronics, humans have a natural affinity towards nature and natural scenes. Scientists call our need to look at and be in nature biophilia. Although nothing beats a stroll on the beach or a walk in the woods, as we continue to cope with cold winter days just looking at nature scenes may have a calming effect on your psyche. Researchers speculate that our need to see nature, even when we can’t be in it, explains why so many people have mountain or beach scenes as screen savers, or photos of nature decorating their wallw. You can try this at home with your kids, or in your office. Print out images of nature and put them around the house. Use scenes of nature as a background on for your computer/ Make a little indoor garden or put a group of house plants in a place where you spend a lot of time. Make sure that your plants or pictures are in a place where you will see them often. Even a little bit of nature goes along way. Some researchers say that when patients in a hospital can view natural scenes from their windows, they heal quicker.

Music Can Help Get Kids To Listen & Learn

You have undoubtedly heard the expression “music tames the savage beast.” But did you know that it also can tame a pretty wild child? Research studies have shown that music is one of the quickest ways to influence human behavior. Whether we like it or not. our brains are significantly influenced by music almost as soon as we hear it, and parents can use music in the home to influence the mood and behavior of their children. Here are a few ideas you might want to try:

· Do you want kids to get ready quicker in the morning? Play music with an upbeat tempo. The faster the beat, the quicker kids will move.
· Do you want kids to calm down before bedtime? Play slow soothing music. Quiet music lowers the heart rate and blood pressure.
· Do you have kids who are anxious or can’t concentrate? Music played at the rhythm of the human heart beat is said to calm kids down and help them focus.
· Do you want to calm the temper of angry kids or teens? Limit loud music with a “hard beat.” It raises the irritability/anger threshold.

Should You Reward Kids For Good Work With Treats And Prizes?

According to a recent NY Times article, the debate as to whether or not you should reward kids for doing homework, chores, or other expected behavior, continues to rage. Some psychologists think that it is the quickest way to get kids to do what you want. But there is also research that suggests that when kids just work for rewards, they don’t learn to value the task, and when the rewards are removed they stop doing what is expected.
In my opinion, this debate misses three essential points. First, we have to remember that kids are different. Some kids need very little to motivate them and others need a lot. If a child is willful and oppositional, we can assume that he or she needs more motivation to behave appropriately. In that case, a tangible reward system, such as a point system with a chart and a “rewards menu” is appropriate. If a child is already easy-going and eager to please, then there is no need to add an extra incentive.
Secondly, we have to make sure that rewards are given in a systematic way. Often parents and even teachers are inconsistent in the way that they give rewards, which can confuses kids can even make a behavioral problem worse.
Finally, we have to think of reward systems as short-term. If children are learning a new behavioral habit (for example making their beds or doing homework without supervision), then they often need extrinsic, concrete rewards. But once the habit is learned, there is no need to continue the rewards. Generally, it takes about 21 days to learn a new behavioral habit and that is when most reward systems can be phased out or eliminated.

Depression Is The “Common Cold” Of Psychiatric Problems

For more than 20 years, researchers have been trying to find ways to prevent depression in children and teens. Although childhood depression doesn’t get nearly as much attention as ADHD or disorders on the Autistic Spectrum, depression is often called the “common cold” of psychiatric disorders, and an estimated 1 out of 3 people will have a serious depression at sometime in their lives.
Teens, of course, have a high risk for depression, which is often associated with other problems that get more attention, like drinking, eating disorders, or poor school performance. Suicide remains the third leading cause of deaths between the ages of 15 and 25.
Whether or not your child shows symptoms of sadness or depression, it is likely that she will experience this problem at sometime in her life, and there are things you can do to make sure that this mood disorder does not become a lifetime battle. To begin, you need to help your child be a “problem-solver.” When she comes to you with problems, particularly ones that involve other children, hold back on your suggestions. Instead ask her to “brainstorm” possible solutions, coming up with as many strategies as possible. Then show her how to evaluate each possibility, and decide on which one might lead to the best outcome. Encourage her to try the solution, and if it doesn’t work, go back to the original list and try again. This simple procedure fosters self-reliance and self-worth, the opposite of the feelings that underlie depression.

Music Can Help Get Kids To Listen & Learn

You’ve undoubtedly heard the expression “music tames the savage beast.” But did you know that it also can tame a pretty wild child? Research studies have shown that music is one of the quickest ways to influence human behavior. Whether we like it or not. our brains are significantly influenced by music almost as soon as we hear it, and parents can use music in the home to influence the mood and behavior of their children. Here are a few ideas you might want to try:
· Do you want kids to get ready quicker in the morning? Play music with an upbeat tempo. The faster the beat, the quicker kids will move.
· Do you want kids to calm down before bedtime? Play slow soothing music. Quiet music lowers the heart rate and blood pressure.
· Do you have kids who are anxious or can’t concentrate? Music played at the rhythm of the human heart beat is said to calm kids down and help them focus.
· Do you want to calm the temper of angry kids or teens? Limit loud music with a “hard beat.” It raises the irritability/anger threshold.